( Application )

Job: Office Worker

Housing: 1761 Beaver St. (With Jill [wife], Kyon [son], and Relm [daughter])

What the fuck was that? I didn't catch all of that, but what I did.... Jill, did you--

Nnnnnnnnnnnot Jill.

[ Private; hard to hack ]

I'm not sure what to think about these letters. I stayed inside the whole time that beach was there, does that really count as "participating"? I guess this is better than the hangovers we got after the beer faucets, but it's still kind of weird. We got punished for one and then rewarded for the other. Talk about mixed signals.

That is, if it's really a reward. Major General Sears lost his eye, but Jill got that uniform back. What to do what to do what to do....

...I guess it can't hurt to look.

[ Some time later; Public ]

God, it's so good to see this armor again. I don't think I'll have much use for it here, but it's reassuring to have it anyway. A gun or two might've been more reassuring, but one thing at a time, right?

((Residents of or visitors to the Simmons household will likely notice that the man of the house has taken over the dining room table and is quite contentedly and very thoroughly checking over his armor. This is probably the happiest anyone in Mayfield's ever seen him.))

...What the shit is this?

...No. I'm not going outside dressed like this. And definitely not in this weather. It's not happening. Call me when the world makes sense again. In the meantime, I have things I have to read.

So, as you have likely noticed, Simmons here has not been particularly active present about the Nexus as of late over the past three months or so. Yeah.

Anyways, this is basically just a heads-up/divider. I'm recycling this journal for use at mayfield_rpg very shortly. So if you don't want to see random out-of-context posts for a game entirely separate from dear_multiverse on your character's f-list or something, I would suggest removing sycophanticdick here from said f-list. :|b

Well, I'd say that easily won the title of Best Night in the Sanctuary Ever.

Oh my god. Morons in mechs trying to take over the Nexus. I almost want to think it's all a spectacularly dumb joke. Do they really think that'll work? You can't even get a cup of coffee in the Nexus without it trying to fuck you sideways (whether "it" in that sentence is the Nexus or the coffee, I'll leave up to you), and they really think they can enforce some sort of order on it? I haven't been so amused since Grif switched Sarge's and Donut's shampoos. And trust me, that was hilarious.

Personally, I give it a week at most before they end up running back home to their mothers with their tails between their legs. Possibly literally. It is the Nexus, after all.

Just once. Just fucking once, I would like to go to the Sanctuary and not end up getting beaten over the head with the fact that I'm a cyborg, or that my armor is an unflattering shade, or that my rank and name together are "Private Dick."

But no, I have to get all fucking three in one short night.

I hate people. Why do I worry so much about being human when humanity's such a bunch of cockbites?

Ugh. I feel like shit. And everything had been going so well lately.



Note to self: Research hellebore.

Well. It certainly does feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders sometimes. They'd have more of a point about "recognizing the contributions of my associates" if my "associates" actually made any "contributions."

I'm not entirely sure I agree with the percentages it gave me. I've never really been much of an extrovert, for instance. I wonder how it came up with that. Maybe I'll take a closer look at the code.

...

Pink?

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

This armor is pink:



My armor is maroon.

Jesus Christ, people.

A series of memoranda to:

The Nexus itself-

Secrets are secret for a reason.


Any Nexus "citizens" who might stumble across this journal-

I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT.


Grif-

I really wish there was some way I could think of to explain this without making things worse.


-PFC Dick Simmons

((Now belatedly locked to Grif.))

GRIF.

Did I ever have the decency to thank you for that system for drinking in the armor without removing the helmet first? Because seriously, it is a fucking life saver and I totally owe you one. I mean that, buddy, I do. You ever need anything I can help you with--and I mean ANYTHING-you tell me, ok? I mean that.


I shouldn't have mentioned Grifball. It was supposed to be a joke. Somebody mentioned how the Nexus should have a sports team and then it was the question of what kind of sports team should it be and there was some weird shit said and Grifball was a natural thing to mention but then I had to explain what Grifball IS and that involved mentioning Sarge and then all of a sudden we were talking about Sarge instead of sports and somebody mentioned what happened when you got run over by the tank but they got it wrong they just said that the cure to getting run over by a tank was machine parts they left out the organ transfer so I had to correct them and I

I thought I--that I was used to it, if nothing else, but talking about it with people who weren't there, who didn't experience it, who didn't KNOW until I told them--I-

I don't know, but I just couldn't say anything else after that. Nothign TO say.

But I

I don't know.

I hate it.

You know, I've heard newbies getting the speech not to drink or eat anything in the Nexus to avoid LOL's. I've been visiting the Nexus for three months. The list of things I've consumed in these three months that originated in the Nexus consists entirely of two completely unLOLed bottles of gin. I've now been LOLed thrice.

This is bullshit.

I guess I should be glad I wasn't transformed into a cannibalistic head or a 12-year-old this time. Although both of those wore off before I left the Nexus and this one hasn't.

No, this time, my soul

has been physically manifested

AS

A

RAT.

The Nexus is a fucking cockbite.

Memes. Nice, distracting memes.

( Dante's Inferno )

Yeah, fuck you, too, you stupid quiz.

---

( T or F )

SIMMONS HATES YOU.

DONE.

Yeah, no, seriously, drop a comment and I'll tell you what Simmons thinks of your pup(s).

...Don't be too surprised if it does turn out that he hates your pup, though.

Good news.

Booze works.

I am so drunk righ tnow.

Awesome.

He wasn't worried. ( That would be ridiculous. )